Family Therapy Assessment Centre South Africa - counseling, divorce mediation & couples counselling therapists

The ripple effects of divorce

It is an unfortunate fact that divorce has become commonplace in our society. The pain and anguish created in a divorce has a ripple effect on the family unit. Often family members are confused as how to act around the now divorced couple. Children are often used as pawns between their father and mother. Each one may try to gain the upper hand in the battle for their children's affection. Getting divorced may be necessary in cases when a relationship cannot be salvaged. However, the couple should keep in mind that the whole family unit will be affected by this change.
© Family Friend Poems

Through The Eyes Of A Child
(© Brianna K. Slone)

When I was only two years old,
My daddy went away.
He swore he'd always love me,
But he said he couldn't stay.
Days turned into weeks
And weeks turned into years.
I never saw my father,
He never saw my tears.
He never read me bedtime stories
Or tucked me in at night.
He never showed up for my birthdays,
But I always hoped he might.
He missed my first day of kindergarten
And all of my school plays.
He doesn't know how smart I am,
My report cards full of A's.
Sometimes I want to call him
To say Hey Dad I'm still alive!
I'll be 16 years old soon,
Will you teach me how to drive?
It’s almost time for college,
The years go by so fast.
I'm looking forward to my future,
But I'm still trapped within my past.
I guess I'll never understand,
Did I do something bad?
My parents got divorced,
But why did I lose my dad?

Family And Forensic Assessments

Family and forensic assessments are often a consideration when facing a divorce. This process is usually initiated by either one of the parents, their legal team or the court. Dr. Robinson’s focus areas in family and forensic assessments are in divorce guidance, drafting parenting plans, mediating, facilitating forensic investigations and overseeing supervised contact.

DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS

The meaning of the concept “divorce action” Section 1 of the Divorce Act 70 of 1979 defines the concept “divorce action”. It inter alia includes the following:

(1) An action for a decree of divorce or other relief in connection with a divorce.
(2) An application pendente lite for

a. An interdict,
b. Interim custody of, or access to, a minor child of the marriage, or
c. The payment of maintenance.
(3) An application for a contribution towards the costs of a divorce action.
(4) An application to institute the action or make the application in forma pauperis (that is, like a pauper).
(5) An application for substituted service of process in the action or application.
(6) An application for edictal citation of a party to the action or application.

Taken as a whole most divorce cases are quite traumatic an affects all the family members. Very often you will find in any divorce action some form of dispute that needs attention. This can lead to a volatile situation and can create parents to become clouded by their own anger. Feelings of anger usually have an effect on a person’s decision making ability. As a result an objective expert opinion is needed to help the parents and the children within the process of decision making.

Divorce Guidance When a couple decide to file for a divorce it is important to focus on the administrative and emotional process of a divorce and to obtain information and advice from an objective third party. This is especially important when decisions have to be made regarding the children.

Parenting Plan In terms of Section 33 (1) of the children's act, act 38 of 2005, the co-holders of parental responsibilities and rights in respect of a child may agree on a parenting plan determining the exercise of their respective responsibilities and rights pertaining to the child.

Mediation Mediation can form an important part within a divorce process and is helpful when formalising and finalising an agreement between the two parties. In mediation you will commit and face the challenge of working with your spouse to make the best of a bad situation. If you can't save the marriage, save the divorce.

Forensic Evaluation A forensic evaluation process will assess the children's needs and wishes; the rights and responsibilities of the parents; the contact and residential plan structured for the children; and/or any special concerns raised by either parent that, might have an impact of the child(ren).

Supervised Contact Supervised contact might have been recommended by the court for a period of time until the parent-child relationship develops. Doctor does oversee supervised contact and facilitate intervention to improve the relationship between the parent and the child.

STRUCTURE OF INTERVENTION
Divorce Guidance The parents attend two sessions with the doctor without the children present. The goal of these sessions is to answer the parents questions and to give insight respecting specific and related divorce uncertainties and queries. Two x 2 hour sessions = 4 hours

Parenting Plan Step 1: The parents attend two sessions with the doctor without the children being present. 1st session: The parenting plan will be explained to the parents and a template and an example of a parenting plan will be given to the parents. The parents will have the opportunity to discuss their thoughts and their ideas within the session. Step 2: The parents will complete the template at home in their own time and mail it back to the doctor. Step 3: A parenting plan will be compiled for the parents and will be a combination of the input from the parents and specific guidelines. Step 4: The parenting plan will be handed to the parents and will be worked through at the 2nd session. Two x 2 hour sessions = 4 hours

Mediation Session 1: A problem analysis and need assessment is facilitated with the parents. Session 2: The parents and the facilitator will bring to the discussion options and answers to the problems as what was set out in session 1. Mediation will take place on the subject matter. Session 3: Parents sign agreement with doctor stipulating what the parents have agreed upon. Three x 2 hour sessions = 6 hours

Forensic Evaluation A forensic investigation and evaluation focus on all the roleplayers within the family system. A forensic evaluation structure can only be formalised after the doctor has assessed the circumstances and therefore needs to meet with one of the parties (usually the father or mother) to enable the doctor to make a recommendation. An initial intake session is therefore needed where data collection will take place, a history intake of the case and a general overview of the family system. Depending on the case matter the doctor will recommend the best option regarding a forensic evaluation process that can include the following: Discussion meetings with both parents; Assessments with the children; An interactional analysis or observational sessions. Home visits; Meeting with other involved parties. Initial intake session: 2 hours, 30 minutes

Supervised Contact An initial intake session will be facilitated with both of the parents to discuss the case matter and the options pertaining to supervised contact and to consequently structure a workable contact roster. Initial intake session: One x 2 hours = 2hours Supervised contact sessions: A supervised contact session is usually two hours per contact. A structure with the frequency and regularity of the contact needs to be assessed within the initial intake session.


© Dr Tanya Robinson, 2009. E-mail: tmrobinson@mweb.co.za	Website by Spyderweb Design